How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection In a Relationship? : All people by nature seek to be part of a social circle and relate to others, some with more, others with fewer people, Depending on the individual’s personality, we all want to be socially accepted. This is why one of the greatest fears we can experience in life is the fear of being rejected by others.
Nobody likes the idea of being rejected by the social circle in which they live or when trying to enter a new one. To a certain extent, feeling fear of being rejected, in its fair measure, can be considered normal, When that fear becomes restricting, to the point that it causes us unnecessary suffering, it becomes an issue that we must address as quickly as possible.
But how to overcome the fear of rejection in a relationship? It is often tough to overcome a deep-seated fear, but it is not impossible if you truly choose to do so. That is why, in this post, we will provide you with a series of advice on how to overcome the fear of rejection.
How do people who are afraid of rejection act?
A person who is not limited by the fear of rejection that they may feel at times, will perceive the situations in which they are not well accepted or where they can even be ignored, in a less negative way and take it as something of little importance. However, a person who has an excessive fear of rejection will be constantly aware of the reaction of other people and will even interpret their actions, coming to perceive them in the wrong way.
For example, if a co-worker who is normally always happy and smiling, one day arrives more serious and does not want to talk to anyone, the person who is afraid of rejection will interpret his seriousness as something against him, as if that person was like this because he does not want to talk to her.
People with fear of rejection are very susceptible to “what they will say” and if at any time they realize that someone spoke ill of them or said something they did not like, they can feel deeply hurt and do not stop thinking about that situation. that caused them so much discomfort. They are usually people who even feel judged and observed by others all the time, even though it is not really so, so they begin to distort reality and They form hypotheses based on their own fear of rejection.
This is why they tend to try to please others, acting in a way that they believe the other wants or totally isolating themselves from them, pretending they really don’t care about contact with others and therefore their rejection.
The following are some of the most common side effects of having an extreme and irrational fear of rejection:
Losing the opportunity to establish stable relationships
People with fear of rejection miss many opportunities to meet more people and establish closer ties of friendship and/or love with them. They cease enjoying amazing moments with individuals who may become extremely important to them, having someone by their side who can support them at all times when they are in difficult situations, and even forming a family. All of these life events improve and strengthen each of our self-esteem, therefore if we don’t have them, we will be living a life that is meaningless.
Being constantly aware of the reactions of others, feeling judged by others and not valued, can cause us to start having anxiety problems. An anxious person does not live in peace, they are anxious about what may or may not happen, thinking all the time about the situations in which they have conflicts, they may even have bothersome physical symptoms related to the excess of tension they feel.
It is not uncommon for a person who has an excessive fear of rejection to develop a depressive disorder at some point. It is not easy for anyone to feel rejected and ignored, but people who live with that fear all the time, come to distort reality to the point where they are unable to recognize themselves, even when they are widely accepted. Depression by itself also causes the person who suffers from it to constantly generate negative thoughts about herself and her relationship with others. This causes the person to find himself entangled in an extremely negative vicious circle and can become very destructive to him and his emotional well-being.
Not achieving life goals
The fear of rejection is totally limiting since it not only prevents us from relating to others, but also from achieving our personal goals and objectives since, We quit daring to do things that are essential to reach our goals because of the same fear. For example, if a person’s goal is to start a family and he believes that everyone rejects him, it will be difficult for him to find a stable partner. Similarly, if a person’s goal is to advance in his company and he constantly feels this type of fear, he will not dare to expose himself to his superiors to be evaluated and promoted.
4 Tips On How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection In a Relationship
If you want to know how to overcome the fear of rejection, We propose that you read the four suggestions listed below. They can assist you in living a more meaningful life and improving your interpersonal relationships.
Don’t try to please everyone
Some people fall into the trap of wanting to please everyone else, which is impossible since there will always be people with whom we agree more and with whom we understand each other less, even those who we don’t like or don’t like very much. Being aware of this and seeing it as something normal is key for us to stop worrying so much about liking the other. It is important that we take this seriously because if we don’t and continue seeking the approval of the other, The only thing that will happen is that our self-esteem will plummet even deeper, increasing our dread of rejection.
Just be yourself
An authentic person is one who shows himself as he is to others, whether others like him more or less, they will not hide their own personality and will act according to their personal values. When we are afraid of rejection, we tend to act in different ways trying to conform to what others want us to be, which ironically is counterproductive because in the end we end up noticing that we are not being authentic. We should not worry about what others are or want us to be, we simply have to be ourselves and the right people will always be by our side.
Stop making assumptions about what others think
Stop creating hypotheses about what others think of you since it is most likely that you are not right and that your own fear of being rejected generates that you perceive a different reality than it is. Creating hypotheses and thinking that another person dislikes you so much will only cause you to suffer unnecessarily. Remember that it is impossible to guess what others think and even if that person did not like you, there would be nothing wrong with that either, after all, You, also, dislike everyone you know.
Modify your thoughts
It is necessary that you make a modification of those negative thoughts that do not allow you to move forward and that only generate anxiety and worry. Try to perceive the different situations in a more positive and more than positive, objective way. So every time you have negative thoughts related to your fear of rejection, identify that you are having them and consciously change them for more constructive ones that allow you to improve as a person.
For example, if you are having thoughts of the type: “I am always rejected, someone can never like me”, “this situation is not going to change, I am destined to be rejected”, if you reflect and analyze objectively this type of thinking you will realize that you can never generalize so stop saying that you always get rejected because not all people will. If you believe your circumstance will not change, ask yourself, “why?” Can it really not change if I make an effort for it? Try to be as positive and realistic as possible.
This post is purely educational; we do not have the authority to make a diagnosis or prescribe a course of treatment. We encourage you to get treatment from a psychologist for your specific situation.
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